Class takeaway 4/6/15

Yesterday's class made me realize what passion was. I saw my instructor "attempt" to turn the class over to the soon to be instructor. I say attempt because her passion for the class kept her interjecting her thoughts and ideas on the topics we discussed. I could see the struggle she had with really passing the torch. 

It became clear to me that she was realizing the chapter that she began with her vision and passion was coming to a close for her. The passion that she has for the class she created was so prevalent yesterday. I just observed. 

I realized I am still searching for that one creative "thing" that draws my innate passion out of me. I want to create something that is such a deeply rooted part of me, that instinctively it would be difficult for me to let go. That is passion.

The flavor of horseradish cocktail sauce LOOKS like:

So I went to Harry and Izzys recently. I thought that was a perfect time to try something new - especially since I wasn't paying for it!

My experiment - cocktail sauce with horseradish in it.

I had never had this before so I was excited to taste it and create something from it. So many people had spoken about it to me - so here was my chance.

Cocktail with Horseradish -

Ok , so what can I say. It was delicious - however it has a STING unlike anything else I've ever had. I felt as though the cocktail sauce was made of tiny little jellyfish stinging the roof of my mouth and inside my nasal cavity. But knowing there weren't any jellyfish contained in the sauce I imagined what the flavor of the sauce would look like.

I tried creating it (picture 1) by inserting paper clips into a paper ball to represent the microscopic molecules of the flavor and symbolize its prickliness, but was unsuccessful. Then I was out and found an object that summed up the flavor perfectly for me. (Picture 2)

Picture 2 has the prickliness as well as it lights up which signifies the electric type pulsating I felt while eating it.

Picture 1

Picture 2

Class Takeaway 3/9/15

Yesterday was an emotional class for many - including myself. I was one of the first few to discuss the book covers and realizing what the cover meant to me had me tearing up. I fought back the tears and maintained my composure but a couple of others didn't - and it was totally okay. They really opened up and let their emotions flow and I could totally relate. I am not comfortable enough to really open up in front of so many people that I don't know, but I could feel that we are all going through a transformation.

This class is really helping many to make some realizations about themselves and their lives. It is more than just a class but more of a journey - for each person involved. Although I did not allow myself to open up completely, there is a change going on within me. It is a very personal experience and as the class continues this semester I know I will continue with my transformation just as so many others in the class.

You've got this covered

This class has thus far really been a deep journey for me. I have been put in a position where I've been somewhat forced to analyze and realize things about myself. Things that were comforting and things that weren't so comforting. I think the ideas I have come up with for the cover of my book represent me well - I just don't know if I want to reveal those aspects of me so openly.

I'm still contemplating the idea of just burning the entire book and inserting the ashes into an hour glass - and there would be no "cover" in this instance.

The other idea I've been seriously contemplating is turning the cover into a mask. While the mask would be simple, the contents of the book would be filled with all the complexities of my life. 

Class takeaway 3/2/15

So, I've been contemplating what to write for the last 24 hours. I really thought long and hard about class yesterday... And what I came up with is this - this class is totally opposite of what I expected. I was sitting in class yesterday just listening to everyone speak and also tuning in to my internal thoughts and I came to the conclusion that this class seems to be some sort of psychotherapy. 

At the beginning of this course it was stated that this class can really take people down a personal journey that is more than what they expected. That is exactly what is going on with me. Things are being revealed to me through these assignments which I would have never imagined would happen. I am on an unexpected deep emotional journey - slightly uncomfortable - but trying to welcome it. It is a bit unnerving to me because it has caught me off guard, but just like anything in my life, I am doing my best to experience it as well as learn from it. This is a surprisingly unusual class with some very unexpected results for me.

Who am I and why am I here?

I did my own blind contour drawing of a chair with a jacket hanging on the side of it. In the act of drawing this, many thoughts ran through my mind - "Am I making the right choices as to when I move up or down, and across? Is this going to look anything like what I imagine it looks like in my mind? Will it be recognizable? Etc..." As I did the drawing I paid attention to the lines of the objects and how they connected with one another. I became innately aware of all the elements of the view I saw before me. Shadows, lines, shades, all present within my view however the method I was using to reconstruct on paper did not really allow me to draw in that manner. But what I realized was because I was not trying to draw so detailed in the beginning, it allowed me to notice all the details that actually existed within the physical composition I was observing.  So how did this exercise apply to who I am and my purpose here?

Well I think this was a perfect illustration of the internal struggles that exist within me all the time. I'm constantly wondering if I'm making the right choices and will things turn out the way I envision them. I think this has revealed to me that although I portray myself to be a confident women, truly on the inside I am never actually sure or confident of the decisions I make. I just go with the flow , do my best, and hope it turns out the way I think it should. Fortunately throughout my life, things have seemed to always work out for me. Maybe I'm just lucky!

As far as my purpose, I honestly believe I am here to help people in anyway I can. People seem to pull from the strength and confidence I portray and have faith that things will work out for them. I always offer my help and help others realize that things are never going to turn out the exact way we envision them, but we should always just put forth our best efforts and let whatever happens happen.  

Class takeaway 2/23/15

I missed class due to my work obligations. So I've been contemplating on how my day "working" lends to my creativity. After thinking long and hard, I feel as if it actually takes away from my creativity. Yesterday I focused long and hard on spreadsheets and numbers. It is a very monotonous job with a lot of pressure and strict deadlines. I have to do logical thinking for hours on end instead of opening up my mind and allowing myself to become "aware" of the  things around me that evoke creativity. I have to have tunnel vision on my work projects and cannot stray beyond the rules - I essentially have to color within the lines at all times in my position. I wish my position had more freedom of interpretation of thoughts and opportunities to include my own feelings / emotions. 

So when I do get the opportunity to create- I now allow myself to become aware of the sounds and smells of things around me - like we discussed in a previous class. I open myself up to think beyond the borders of ideas.