Fear

1.     Fear - of failure

2.     I notice fear when I have worked hard to achieve something or push for a specific result and it doesn’t seem to be going the way I planned.

3.     I’m not sure what fear keeps me from experiencing. I have a fear of failure, but I have failed many times in life. I just don’t like the way it feels, so I try my best to ensure success in every aspect of my life.

4.     I guess fear is a motivator for me. It makes me push hard to be the best I can be.

5.     Fear affects me both positively and negatively when it comes to creativity. Because my fear of failure crosses into every aspect of my life, when it comes to creativity, I am motivated to put my best foot forward out of fear that I will create “crap”. But on the other hand,  I have a fear of getting so lost in the moment, that I lose all track of time and it throws off my schedule for everything else I have going on.

6.     ???

7.     Well, I think it helps to put it in perspective for me. It allowed me to “see” it as a tangible object as opposed to “feeling” it.

For my tangible object I taped two styrofoam cups together with masking tape. I stared at it for a long time not really knowing what to do with it, or how it represented my "fear". The longer I stared at it, the more I realized I had just failed to create something that I was proud of - it was something that represented not only the failure of creativity, but failure itself. It made me chuckle because it really seemed like an epic fail. Empty on the inside, empty on the outside. Not what I would consider to be "creative" at all. But then I think again and realize, it truly represents how I see failure. While it may seem as though I made no effort in this creation, I really did. I thought and thought about how I could turn this into something great, and I just could not come up with something. The more I hold it in my hands, the more comfortable I become with it. I don't like "failing", but I think this helps me better cope with the concept of it.  I actually am starting to like my "cups".